A Demon in My View
by Nel

E-mail: nel_ani@yahoo.se
Pairing: Jack/Daniel
Disclaimers: Dude, not mine.
Rating: R
Category: Angst
Warnings: Violence
Season: Season 2
Series: Part 4/6 in the Surrender series, following Surrender, Torment and Reminiscence.
Jack was back. Everything should be okay.
Author's Notes: Now, before you all jump me about adding a part to the series, hear me out. It hasn't really gotten longer, this part just got more complicated than planned, thus I decided that I'd rather have the events unfold in two parts than try and cram it all in a part I want to be shortish.

So, that's the reason there's now a '6' where there used to be a '5'. Don't sue.

As always, thanks to the marvelous Suz that gets to deal with the neurotic me, the lovely Kel who's always willing to make a IM dialog and of course Danvers, the angst queen.

Thanks, guys.

Added notes: Well, gang, it's been almost a year and I haven't updated. I'd like to say that I'll finish it, and I really do want to, but the SG-1 groove isn't really around anymore. It might be finished some day, but it might also not be. If anyone is dying to know how it ends, send me a mail and I'll tell you (coz I do know, it's just the whole 'writing-it'-thing that's kicking my ass). I'd just like to say that I'm sorry and that I have learned not to post any more WIPs. Nel, June 7th 2006


From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.

Edgar Allan Poe - Alone


The infirmary was its normally controlled chaos, people bustling about and checking a dozen things at once, but there was a difference in the atmosphere today, an undercurrent vibrating in the air. People kept turning to look at the figure in the hospital gown sitting on a bed in the centre of the infirmary, seeming oblivious to everyone’s stares and whispers.

One nurse had taken one look at Jack when she entered the room, turning white as a sheet before hastily leaving. Melissa, which Daniel vaguely remembered as her name, was new around here and not accustomed to their back-from-the-dead routine. Although he had to admit, coming back from being declared clinically dead was a new one for him as well.

They’d been waiting for Dr Fraiser for twenty minutes, since she was off base. The general had ordered her home after she’d been working non-stop for god knows how many hours without seeming inclined to take a break.

They’d all been coping in their own ways, but Sam hadn’t thought it healthy that Dr Fraiser kept going over the readings just before Jack’s flat line, so she’d hinted to the general that a break might not be a bad thing. Sure, there had been stuff for her to do when SG-2 came down with some flu like symptoms, especially since the rest of the base needed to be inoculated (although he wasn’t quite sure how you could inoculate against alien bacteria. Then again, he wasn’t that kind of doctor.), but Daniel doubted that they needed constant monitoring by her personally.

So, Daniel was now alone in the infirmary, since the general had left to make some calls. Alone with a man that was supposed to be dead, who wouldn’t look at him and who hadn’t said a word since General Hammond had ordered him to the infirmary.

Well, he wasn’t completely alone with Jack. There were nurses moving in and out of the infirmary as well as the SFs standing guard and he was pathetically grateful for that. Things were just going a bit too fast and he felt that this was precariously close to the straw that broke the camel’s back. However tempting freaking out seemed at the moment, he didn’t think Hammond would let him stick around if he did.

So, instead of freaking, he was standing with his arms crossed in the middle of the infirmary, pretending that he wasn't staring at Jack, even though his eyes couldn't stay away from him more than a few seconds at a time.

He really wouldn’t mind if Sam and Teal’c showed up. Really. Either one of them. Any second.


Thank god.

Sam was wearing her leather jacket, hair ruffled and cheeks flushed; she’d rushed here. Teal’c looked as stoic as ever, but as Jack turned around from where he sat to look at them, a wide grin split his face. “You are looking well, O’Neill.”

Daniel glanced over at Jack; he was grinning as well. “You know what they say, buddy. Can’t keep a good man down.”

As Sam and Teal’c walked up to Jack’s bed, Daniel figured he could probably manage the same without making a fool of himself.

Sam touched Jack’s arm carefully, as though to reassure herself that he was really there. “Sir, how is this possible? We all saw… I mean…”

“We were present when Dr. Fraiser declared you clinically dead.”

Daniel looked away. He hadn’t been present.

“Hey, beats me. Last thing I remember was…” Daniel looked up as he felt Jack’s eyes on him, and for a moment he could have sworn there was anger in those familiar eyes, but then Jack was smiling. “Daniel looking a bit worse for wear.”

“You weren’t looking so hot yourself,” he replied lightly, forcing himself to meet Jack’s eyes again. This wasn’t the time for guilt-tripping.

Jack shrugged. “Can’t always be perfect.”

If Sam’s snort sounded a bit too close to a sob, no one pointed it out. If Teal’c’s smiles were a bit wider than normal (understatement of the century), no one saw fit to notice. And everyone seemed oblivious to the fact that Sam hadn’t let go of Jack’s arm.

SG-1 were back together again. That was all that was important, all that mattered.

When Dr Fraiser entered the infirmary in a rush, shock and delight warring on her face, everyone was back to normal.

So it seemed, anyway.


Janet didn’t have an explanation for Jack’s return. Neither did the doctor she brought in for a second opinion. Neither did the doctor they brought in for a third opinion. Or the forth.

They checked for everything: DNA abnormalities, hidden bombs, viruses; anything that would show that this wasn’t Jack but something to bring the Tau’ri down. They checked and they double-checked, getting a lot of vocal complaints from Jack on how there wasn’t “a nook or cranny they hadn’t snooped in”.

They found nothing to indicate that this wasn’t Jack O’Neill, in the flesh. The body that used to be in the base morgue was gone. There was no explanation as to how Jack could be up and walking, yet he was. It defied science.

So the general put him back on active duty. Because, honestly, it wasn’t like this was the first time SG-1 had defied science. Hell, wasn’t the entire Stargate program defying the laws of physics?

But, active duty or not, SG-1 was still to remain on base for a few weeks at least. No amount of vocal complaints from Jack’s side could make General Hammond change his mind about that.

As for Daniel he was, for a lack of a better term, happy. Jack was alive. He was alive even though Daniel had screwed up (so, yeah, okay, there might have been some guilt issues to work out there, but then when wasn’t there?) and he’d gotten second chance.

He hadn’t told Jack how sorry he was about the mess he’d made of things so long ago (had only three weeks passed?), but not from lack of trying. Every time he as much as brought the subject up, something would flash behind Jack’s eyes and he’d change the subject.

And Daniel didn’t push. Because he’d pushed before, hadn’t he, and look where that’d gotten them.


Daniel was about to leave his office to grab some food from the commissary before continuing with the translation that was giving him an headache, when Jack was suddenly right in front of him, blocking his exit. He closed the door behind him and looked at Daniel with an unreadable expression on his face.

Daniel frowned. “Hey, Jack, what’s-“

Finding himself slammed against his office door as Jack grabbed his shirt and spun him around was something of a surprise, but not as much as Jack’s mouth suddenly on his, pushing his tongue into Daniel’s mouth.

He clutched at Jack’s arms and closed his eyes, relaxing muscles that had automatically tensed up. Jack was nipping at and worrying his lower lip before kissing him aggressively again. God, this was good. So so good.

One of his hands slid up Jack’s shoulder to his head as he broke away for air and moved his mouth to Jack’s neck. He was clumsy in his rush and eagerness, a bit too rough as his teeth grazed the skin, although he vaguely remembered not to leave marks.

Two weeks ago to the day he’d thought he’d lost Jack for good, and feeling his lean body pressed against his own (again again god it’s been so long) was now officially nirvana.

He drew his fingers through Jack’s hair and tried distantly to remember why this was a bad idea as Jack was tugging the neck of his t-shirt down and sucking hard just above his left collarbone.

Right, bad idea. Bad. Very bad. Panting, he pushed Jack away. “Not here, Jack, it's too dangerous.”

Jack straightened a bit, but he didn’t back off. He smiled slowly at Daniel, making him shiver. “Come on, Daniel, little danger never hurt anyone.”

He started to lean in again, but Daniel held him off. “It could hurt your career,” he said, trying to sound firm.

Jack moved back several inches and looked away as he shrugged. “Was thinking about retiring anyway.”

Daniel straightened abruptly, the bone melting relaxation leaving as soon as it’d arrived. “You were? Why?”

Jack shrugged again, and there was something unnerving about his nonchalance. “Sick of being cooped up in this pile of rock.”

Daniel frowned. “Jack? Are you okay?”

“Never better.” Jack smiled warmly and his face closed in on Daniel’s again.

Daniel pushed him away again, more forcefully this time and Jack took a surprised step back. “Jack, I don't think you are okay.”

All traces of cheerfulness disappeared from Jack’s face. “Jesus, this is just like you to analyze everything to death.”

Daniel felt like his thoughts were moving through mud; things were turning too fast for him to keep up. “Wha..?”

Jack started pacing, continuing as though he hadn’t heard Daniel. “No wonder you can't be happy. You're so busy dumping on everything you just let everything slip through your fingers.”

Daniel shook his head and frowned. “I don't understand what you're talking about.”

Jack stopped his pacing and stared coldly at Daniel. “You let me slip through.”

Daniel’s stomach twisted and he didn’t seem to be able to swallow. Oh god.

Jack took a step closer. “Let me die out there.”

Forcing the words out, the guilt threatening to suffocate him, he choked out, “I tried. I swear to God I tried.”

Jack snorted in disdain. “You ever get sick of failing? Sha're. Skaara. Me.”

Daniel stared at him. This wasn’t right, this wasn’t like Jack. He was letting his own guilt cloud his judgment. If this was how Jack felt, he wouldn’t rub it in. “Maybe you should see Janet,” he said, carefully regarding Jack. “I don't think you're yourself right now.”

Jack closed in on him until they were breathing the same air. Daniel stared into the brown eyes so near his own, and Jack smiled in a way that made him go cold. “I've never been more myself in my life.”

Daniel didn’t let his eyes waver. “I know you. This isn't you.”

The smile disappeared. “If you mean I’m not the one who let you screw me over when you were thinking about your wife, damn straight.”

“See,” Daniel nodded and pushed Jack away before opening the door to his office, “the Jack I know would never have said that.”

“Perhaps you don’t know me very well.”

Daniel swallowed. “Maybe not. But I still think you should go see Janet.”

Jack stared at him, then snorted again before brushing past Daniel. “Whatever.”

Daniel stared at his back until he turned around a corner and out of sight.


Dr Fraiser smiled at him as he came into her office. “Dr Jackson, what can I do for you?”

Daniel opened his mouth then closed it again. “I really don’t know where to start.”

“Why don’t you start by sitting down?” She gestured towards a chair which, unlike the chairs in the infirmary, actually looked comfortable. He noticed with pleasure as he seated himself that looks weren’t deceiving.

Daniel looked around her office and realized he’d never sought her out for any other purpose than medical attention. Which he was doing now as well, granted, but this wasn’t the time for semantics.

“Am I supposed to ask yes or no questions to find out why you’re here?”

He realized with a start that he’d been daydreaming. He made an apologetic face at her amused expression. “Sorry. I guess I’m not all there.” He paused. “Although yes or no questions don’t sound too bad.”

She laughed and he was pleased. Daniel had never really spent any time with their resident doctor, at least not when they weren’t in an emergency. She seemed nice enough, maybe he ought to put some effort into getting to know her.

He grew sober and reminded himself why he was here. Getting to know their resident doctor was a good enough idea, but it wasn’t why he was here. “I came to talk to you about Jack.”

Her eyebrows rose. “Colonel O’Neill?”

“Yes. Have you… noticed anything different about his behavior lately?”

She frowned. “Different how?”

He tried to think of something general that didn’t include saying “oh, he just thinks making out with people on base is more important than his career”, but came up with a blank. “I really can’t say, Dr Fraiser, but I think you should consider doing some more tests.”

She looked at him silently for several long moments. Then she said, “Colonel O’Neill came to me earlier today and asked to be examined.”

Daniel’s eyebrows climbed his forehead. “He did?”

“Yes. He wanted me to give him a physical so that I could tell the General that he was fit and able to go off world again.”

“And you did?”

“Yes. I didn’t find anything out of the ordinary.”

"I, uh... Okay then. Then that's over and done with." He got up from the chair.

"Whoa, wait a minute." Dr Fraiser stood up and walked around her desk. "Dr Jackson, please sit down. It sounds like something more is going on here."

He forced a smile. "Really, if you've already examined him and you didn't find anything wrong..."

"I've examined him every possible way I can think of. That doesn't mean I've got everything." She leaned against the desk. "I would never have thought to look for a Goa’uld in someone's neck before I started working here."

"Well, I wouldn't be any help there. All I know is that...he's acting odd."

"Odd how?"

"It’s just… We had an argument and some of the things he said... There are certain lines Jack won't cross. Only this time, he did."

“Whatever he did or said, it was bad enough for you to think there’s something physically wrong with him?”

Daniel didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

Dr Fraiser looked at him and he had a sneaking suspicion that she had no problem noticing the circles around his eyes and the fact that he didn’t look exactly 100%. Her being the doctor and him being strikingly obvious and all that. “Daniel...how are you doing in all of this?”

Daniel looked up at her, pushing back his weariness. “Me?”

She smiled sympathetically. “It can't be easy thinking your best friend is dead and then he's not.”

Daniel snorted. That was the understatement of the year. “No. It's not.”

“Perhaps you need to talk to someone...”

His head snapped up. “I'm fine. I'm coping as well as anyone who thought Jack was dead. If there's something I'm not coping with, it's the fact that something is wrong.”

“With Colonel O'Neill?” She was looking skeptical. Maybe he should have done something radical, like sleeping, before approaching her.

Daniel forced patience into his voice. If their positions were reversed, he’d react with the same amount of skepticism. “Yes, with Colonel O'Neill. He's...not himself.” He looked at Dr Fraiser, hoping that something was making sense out of everything he was saying.

She nodded. “Okay. You keep an eye on the Colonel and I'll talk to General Hammond. If there's something wrong we'll find it. I can't promise you more than that.”

Daniel sagged slightly, relieved. He nodded and got up. “That's all I want.” He smiled slightly at Dr Fraiser. “Thank you.”

“Any time.” She returned his smile.

Daniel went to door to open it.


He turned around to look at her.

“If you need to talk about anything...”

Daniel nodded and gave her smile. "I know. I will."


As Daniel walked towards his office, he felt the beginnings of a headache start behind his eyes. Thank god for aspirin.

He didn't see anyone moving or hear anyone coming up from behind him, but just as he opened the door to his office, he felt a hard shove to his back and he fell forward, barely keeping his footing.

As he turned to his invisible attacker, a hand went to his throat, grabbing hard and pushing him against a wall. He looked up to see Jack staring at him with maddened eyes, and he grabbed onto the hand reflexively, trying to ease it away from his throat.

"Jack," he croaked, "What the hell are you doing?"

Jack bared his teeth in what Daniel guessed was supposed to be a smile. "I could ask you the same thing."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about *you*," he banged Daniel's head against the wall for emphasis, "talking to the Doctor about *me* behind my back."
Daniel took in a deep gulp of air, head beginning to feel fuzzy, nails digging into Jack’s hand. "I was worried."
Jack smacked him hard against the wall again and Daniel's vision swam. The hand tightened around his throat, making it impossible to draw breath and panicking, he tried to pry the fingers away with both hands.

Jack pinned one of his arms to the wall and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get it free. Wondering if this was it, if dying had somehow made Jack go mad and made him decide to repay the favor, he struggled to free himself.

The nails of the hand still free dug into Jack’s hand until there were red spots pooling up underneath them. Jack loosened his grip a little and Daniel was able to suck in a mouthful of wonderful wonderful air.
"I can take care of myself. I don't need you to worry about me, Dr. Jackson. You just worry about yourself," Jack said through gritted teeth.
Daniel tried to ignore the ache in his throat and chest and stared at Jack. Something in his eyes was wrong. A warmth that had always been there was missing. It was like looking into dead eyes. For a moment Daniel felt as though he was being held by a corpse.

"What the hell happened to you?" Daniel whispered.
Jack frowned for a moment as if something suddenly came to him, a small flicker of something across his eyes.
"Jack?" Daniel asked softly.

Jack stared at him in confusion for a moment, the hand against his throat loosening further and the other letting go of Daniel’s arm.
Then Jack eyes flashed in anger again Daniel choked as the hand pressed hard again his Adam’s apple. "Shut up!" he snarled.
"This isn't you," Daniel said hoarsely, trying to spot a book or just something heavy within reach to introduce to Jack’s head.
Jack pulled Daniel away from the wall and one of his hands drew back. Daniel knew if that fist collided with his face, there would be no chance of defending himself after that moment. He struggled hard against Jack's hold, twisting and shoving at Jack and they both lost their balance, falling to the floor.
They wrestled, rolling around on the floor, smashing into things as Daniel struggled to move into a more favorable position against Jack, but Jack seemed to be powered by some kind of raw energy. His limbs were hard as rocks; it was like fighting someone made of stone.
Jack pushed himself to his knees, grabbing Daniel's collar and hauling him up while simultaneously punching him hard in the stomach. Daniel grunted as the blow knocked what little air was left from his lungs. Jack was about to strike again, but Daniel dived to his side, Jack's fist striking the wooden base of the worktop.

Jack screwed his eyes shut in pain, cradling his fist. Then, as though he remembered why he was there, his head snapped around to finish business. He looked straight into Daniel striking fist.


“We need some help here,” Daniel shouted as he and the airman he’d caught outside his office dragged Jack inside the infirmary between them.

Dr Fraiser was there instantly, eyes widened in alarm even as she took over Jack’s weight from the airman. “I’ve got him, you can go.”

She was stronger than her size implied, Daniel didn’t feel Jack’s weight any more than he had when the airman – Michaels, was it? – had been helping him. But then, he was so high on adrenaline at the moment that he probably could have carried Jack by himself.

“What happened?” Dr Fraiser asked as they placed Jack on a bed.

“He attacked me,” he said shortly, not wanting to go into details.

Her eyes sweeped over him, taking in more than he was comfortable with, but she just nodded shortly and started strapping Jack to the bed.

As he watched her work and felt the adrenaline start to leave his body, his mind was filled with thoughts he’d rather not have.

He’d known something was wrong with Jack, but god, what if something was *really* **wrong**? Jack had been dead and now he wasn’t and they still didn’t know why. In the history of mankind, they’d never had a similar experience, unless you counted Lazarus rising from the dead, and that thought only made Daniel more uncomfortable.

If there was one thing Daniel had learned the last couple of years it was to be wary of gods, all kinds of gods, and thinking that Jack was back by divine intervention wasn’t something he was quite prepared to include in the equation.

They’d all come back from the dead before, but none of them had been gone for a longer amount of time. What happened to a man who was brain dead for more than twenty-four hours? Had someone asked him that a few week ago, he’d have laughed at the absurdity of the question. Now, the possible answer only scared him.

A hand on his arm startled him and he looked down into Dr Fraiser’s concerned eyes. “Why don’t you sit down on one of the beds and I’ll have one of the nurses look at you.”

“I’m fine,” he started but paused at her steady gaze. “Okay, I guess I’m not, but I’m okay for now. Just…find out what’s wrong with him.”

“I’ll do my best, Daniel,” but her eyes told him what he already knew. She’d run dozens of test on Jack before, the latest one yesterday and unless something had changed, she wasn’t bound to find anything now.

A noise made them both turn towards Jack’s bed. Jack eyes were fluttering open and Dr Fraiser hurried to his side, Daniel following in a slower pace. “Colonel? How are you feeling?”

Jack blinked his eyes fully open and then stared at her.


“Doc?” Jack’s voice was hoarse.

“Yes, it’s me. How are you feeling?”

Suddenly he surged from the bed, the restraints creaking from the strain and Daniel had to give Dr Fraiser credit for not stepping back. Jack didn’t fight the restraints, though; he simple leaned up towards the doctor urgently.

Looking at her in desperation, the words rushed out of his mouth, his breath coming a bit faster as though he was struggling to get the sounds out. “Get it the hell *out* of me.”

Then he wasn’t struggling anymore, he was laying back down on the bed. He smiled at Dr Fraiser, looking a little confused. “Doc. Why am I strapped down?”

Daniel stared at him, frozen.

Stared at the thing that wasn’t Jack.

The End

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