Rating: R Category: J/D, first time, humor, mini-angst Summary: Jack stops a bad bad thing, and Daniel gets
to pout. Author’s Notes: Just something I started writing
to get out of my writer’s block for the story that should really be
posted now... It turned out better than I could ever have hoped for
though, hope you enjoy reading it as much as I laughed my ass of writing
Thanks to Kelly and Danvers who practically wrote it for me. Honestly,
if you find a funny line, it’s bound to be one of theirs.
Thanks guys, you’re too good for me.
”Daniel? Daniel.” Jack pounded the door in front of him with his
fist. “Will you open the god damned door?”
The door was torn open and Daniel glared at him. Right. Door open,
phase A of the mission accomplished. “Finally. I just thought that
we need to t-“ The door slammed shut in his face. “-alk.” Jack sighed.
“Well, this is good too. I can talk to myself.” He raised his voice
a fraction. “I’m a very nice guy you know, easy going.” He scratched
his neck. “How ‘bout those Blackhawks? I think they’ve been a bit
slow this season, but when you consider how many damaged players they’ve
The door opened once again to reveal Daniel glaring at Jack with
a look that made even Jack O'Neill, Minnesota boy, feel the big freeze.
Jack considered it for a moment. “Nope.”
Daniel turned around and walked back into the apartment, leaving
the door open behind him. Jack followed him in to the couch, where
Daniel slumped down after grabbing a hold of a steaming mug on the
table. Jack sniffed. Chocolate. He drew a deeper breath. With some
whiskey in it.
“You just gonna stand there?” Daniel sounded tired, but there was
still a sharp undertone in his voice. Okay. Time to... Jack hated
to think of it as sucking up, but somehow it always ended up that
way with Daniel, even when it was Jack who’d done the right thing.
“You gonna be pissed at me forever?” He sat down next to Daniel on
“Possibly.” Daniel sipped from the hot brew, not looking at Jack.
“Look, the guy was bad news.”
“Really?” Ouch. Was amazing that he wasn’t covered in ice due to
the chill in that voice.
“And what told you that? Your amazing instincts?” There was no mistaking
the sarcasm in those last words.
Jack was starting to feel a bit annoyed. “More like common sense.”
"Right. I don't have any of that, do I?" Daniel glared into the mug,
his jaw tense.
“Of course you do. You’re just a bit...”
“A bit what, Jack?” Finally Daniel looked at him. Oh yeah, he was
pissed alright, if Jack had some matches he could probably light a
fire with those sparks. “Stupid? Naïve?”
“Naïve then,” Daniel said with bitter finality.
“Will you stop putting words in my mouth?”
“Why? You’re messing around with me, that’s the least I can do to
repay the favor.”
“Daniel, trust me, he’s bad news.”
The mug slammed down on the coffee table, and Jack was pretty sure
it would leave a mark. Daniel turned to face him entirely, eyes narrowed
dangerously. “How do you know that? What made him a bad guy in the
great Jack O’Neill’s eyes?”
Jack tried to ignore the hurt at the disgusted weight on the word
great. “Because he wasn’t interested in what you had to say.”
Daniel's eyes narrowed even more, to the point where it looked as
though he was squinting at Jack. "Oh yeah? So what was he interested
“See, if you weren’t so trusting you’d know what I was talking about.”
“Jack...” The anger seemed to drain out of him, and Daniel gave
Jack accusing glare as though to blame him for it. “That makes absolutely
no sense at all.”
Jack shrugged. “Not much does in this world. Universe. Yadda.” He
made a knowing gesture with his hand.
“So he wasn’t interested in what I had to say?”
“No,” Jack said with certainty.
“Then what was he interested in?”
Jack looked at him, waiting for the penny to drop. He wasn’t disappointed.
Daniel’s eyes widened a fraction. “Oh. Oh! That’s... unbelievable.”
Jack frowned. “Why is that unbelievable?”
"Well, normally it's you who gets people making passes at you at
inopportune moments." Daniel quirked an eyebrow in a very Teal'c-like
"Hey. It was one time and the symbiote liked you," Jack
said cringing at the memory of the pass Freya made at him.
“So, you were concerned about me.”
“To put it mildly.”
Jack felt confused. “Why? I thought we just covered that.”
“No, we just covered what Chancellor Brii was really interested in,”
Daniel said patiently, “that doesn’t explain why you suddenly dragged
us all home.”
“Yes it does.” Wasn’t that obvious?
“No it doesn’t. It wasn’t like he was gonna jump me and, and, ravish
me or anything.”
Jack felt his face heat up. “No, of course not.”
“So, we could in fact have stayed on the planet, I could have finished
my lecture, maybe even convinced the Chancellor to agree to the exchange
and then we could have left.”
“Well...” Jack grasped for straws. “Theoretically.”
"Since when do you rely on theories, Jack? Besides, it's not like
I'd run screaming into the night just because someone gives me a once
“You wouldn't run screaming ...?" He suspected that he was staring
at Daniel, but at the moment there wasn’t much he could do about it.
“Jack, it's happened before,” Daniel said matter-of-factly.
“It, it has?” When did the conversation take this turn? Who was this
person sitting next to him? When the hell did he make it a habit of
stammering anyway? Jack didn’t like this at all.
Daniel's eyebrows rose. "Of course. It hasn't happened to you?"
“Well, eh, not exactly.” Jack scratched an eyebrow, trying to think
of a way to slide away gracefully.
“How close to exactly?”
“Close.” At Daniel’s encouraging look he continued. “You know, like
near, not far, adjacent.”
Daniel looked impatient. “I know the meaning of the word.”
“Yeah, I know, in 20-something languages,” Jack muttered.
“Jack? You want to tell me about this or not?”
“Want to tell you, no. Am gonna be forced to tell you, probably.”
“That's a healthy attitude coming from you.” Did he really have
to sound so congratulating?
“Meaning, spill.” Jack loved Daniel, he really did, but for a guy
that spent weeks trying to decipher new languages, he didn’t have
patience for shit.
“See, it’s like this... It's not unheard of for guys in the military
to...” He tried again. “There hasn't always been women in combat and
there's tension and...oh hell.”
“So you've... with a man?” He’d known Daniel would figure it out
before he made them any more embarrassed. Okay. Before he made himself
any more embarrassed. “Yes Daniel.”
“Wow. I mean... Wow.” Daniel’s expression was strange, surprise
and... something Jack could quite pinpoint. There was no disgust at
“So. Uhm...” Jack scrambled for something to say. “You said that
this’d happened to you before?” As changes of subjects went, he conceded
that this might not have been the smoothest one he could have gone
Daniel looked down and cleared his throat. “Well, see, it's not unheard
of for guys in academia to...there aren't as many women in most faculties...and
there's tension and..." He looked so uncomfortable that Jack almost
felt sorry for him until he saw the glint in Daniel’s eyes.
“You’re a bastard. You know that right?”
“What can I say,” Daniel said, grinning openly now, “you’ve rubbed
off on me.”
Well, looking at the bright side Daniel wasn’t pissed at him anymore,
but he looked way too amused for Jack’s liking. “You’re never gonna
let me live this down are you?”
“Ne-ver.” Daniel seemed to be tasting the word, and loving it.
“Alright, what’s your price?” Jack said dejectedly.
Daniel’s eyebrows rose. “Price?”
“Yes, what do I have to give you to keep your mouth shut?”
The smile that lit up Daniel’s face was a wee bit too much on the
innocent side. Jack buried his face in his hands.
“Now now,” Daniel’s voice sounded way too pleased, “I’m not an unreasonable
“Of course you’re not,” Jack muttered, not lifting his face.
“I think I’d settle for...” There was a pause, and Jack could hear
Daniel taking a breath. A shaky breath. “I’d settle for a kiss. Or
Jack’s head flew up his eyes searching Daniel’s, which looked...uncertain.
“Got to your articulate side, huh?”
The light tone didn’t fool Jack, because he could still see Daniel’s
eyes, and they weren’t amused at all.
“I, well... Shit...”
“That’s coherent.” Daniel’s tone was dry and he looked Jack straight
in the eye, but his cheeks were reddening up.
“Daniel...” Jack was at loss for words. A sarcastic part of his mind
pointed out what a historical event that was. Another just as sharp
part told the first part to shut the hell up.
At the continued silence, Daniel sighed almost inaudibly and looked
away. “Jack, look, I’m..." He reached for the mug, perhaps to
have something to distract him, but before he got to it Jack caught
his wrist. He turned startled eyes at Jack as he let his hand slide
up Daniel’s arm to the shoulder and pushed him back into the pillows
of the couch. Daniel opened his mouth to say something, but Jack didn’t
have time to hear it before he covered Daniel’s lips with his own.
He’d meant it to be a light, easy, closed mouthed kiss, but when Daniel
gasped he changed his plan.He traced Daniel’s lips with the tip of
his tongue, and when Daniel’s mouth opened he slid in.
Daniel was hot, slick and tasted like chocolate and whiskey and...
Jack concentrated. Toothpaste? Who brushed his teeth before drinking
He was somewhat distracted when Daniel, who’d probably by shock had
been passive so far, slid his hands down Jack’s back and right to
the point as always, right to his butt. He gasped into Daniel’s mouth
as Daniel pulled him closer until they were hip to hip and absently
wondered when he’d lost control of the situation. As they started
rocking together and he heard some wonderful moaning noises from Daniel
he decided he really didn’t give a damn. He tried getting closer by
kneeling on the couch, but fate decided to intervene as Daniel pulled
at him at the same moment, bringing Jack out of balance and with a
yelp, also off the couch.
He landed on the floor with an ungraceful thump and heard a curse
from up above. Daniel's head poked out from the edge of the couch,
face worried as he looked down at Jack. “Jack, you alright?”
“Wouldn’t it be ironic if I’d manage to stay in one piece going off
world for six months, and then broke an arm falling off your couch?”
“You hurt your arm?!” Daniel quickly slid down to the floor next
to him, careful not to touch Jack.
“Nah, nothing in pain but my pride.” He looked at Daniel’s disheveled
appearance and swollen lips and felt a wave of heat run through him.
“Well... Maybe not just my pride.”
Daniel glanced down and his face broke out into a shit-eating grin.
“Well...” Jack smiled back.
“You caught me off guard.”
Jack quirked an eyebrow. “I caught you of guard?”
“You were the one who brought up the ravaging.”
“No, that was you actually.”
“What does this mean exactly?” Daniel’s expression grew somber.
“I thought that was pretty...obvious.” He could practically see
Daniel trying not to glance down again, and actually succeed.
“Yes, that part I think I got, but...”
“But you’re wondering if I’ll respect you in the morning?”
“I’m pretty sure you’ll respect me, it’s the whole “still talking
to each other” that has me slightly concerned.”
“Oh, that thing.”
“Yeah,” Daniel nodded.
“Daniel, if I thought that could shut you up...”
Jack smiled. “Well, it wouldn't matter. I'm not sure I'd want you
to shut up.”
Daniel opened his mouth to reply and closed it again. He drew a breath
and opened it again, closing it a second time.
“And yet I seemed to have succeeded.”
“So, we’d still be talking.”
“Yes Daniel, we’d still be talking.”
“More than one word sentences?”
“Well, knowing you and mornings-“
“Jack.” Jack looked up at Daniel, studied the high cheekbones, the
straight nose and the blue eyes framed by glasses that were endearingly
tilted. He leaned in a and brushed his lips against Daniel’s gently,
once, twice, watching the eyes fall shut. He resisted the temptation
to continue, braised himself on his elbows and got up.
Daniel’s eyes shot up and he looked up at Jack, alarm evident in
his face. Jack offered his hand and Daniel took it, smoothly rising
from the floor as well. “Look, Jack... If this isn’t what you want...”
He faltered, apparently at a loss.
Jack felt a small sting in his chest, but smiled never the less.
“I’ll give you some time to think on it. Nothing has to change if
you don't want it to. I want this, but if you don't we can forget
He felt suddenly weary.The good and noble thing had been appealing
when he was younger, but if there was one thing he’d learned over
the years it was that it always came with a price.
Backing away from Daniel while still smiling he turned towards the
door. “You know where to find me.”
He was almost there, almost by the door when Daniel’s voice stopped
Jack turned around again, watching Daniel walk towards him. “Yeah?”
“Did you just do the gentleman routine with me?” Daniel’s eyes was
shining with something Jack couldn’t identify.
Daniel went on as if not listening. “You know what that tells me?”
“That I’m basically a nice guy?”
Daniel smiled, a new smile, a smile Jack wanted to see again and
again. Okay, so if he was honest with himself, and he often was unfortunately,
he’d take any smile he could from Daniel since the guy relaxed about
enough to smile once every year or so. But this... This was something
he’d give something valuable to see, hell, he’d give up hockey tickets
to see this. Something more than an ill-timed joke for sure, but that
seemed to be all that was required.
Suddenly uncomfortable he glanced away. Way to get sentimental in
his old age. He felt a hand under his chin, tilting his head back
up and his eyes meeting Daniel’s smiling ones. “It tells me that you’re
a schmuck who should stop fussing about other people for once in his
"I do not fuss!" The indignation was dangerously weak. "Grandparents
"Baby sitters fuss."
"Doctors," Daniel added in a helpful tone that should have warned
"Air Force Colonels."
He opened his mouth to respond but was cut off as he was gently but
firmly pushed against the door he’d had every intention of opening
a few moments ago. Jack swallowed hard, trying to remember what he
was supposed to say faced with that expression on Daniel’s face. The
“I don’t fuss. Fussing is uncool, and I am so not uncool.”
“Of course not.”
“I’ve been totally not uncool since before you were born.” Jack paused.
The corners of Daniel’s eyes wrinkled a bit. “Okay, so that didn’t
really help my case did it?” Jack said.
Daniel grinned and shook his head, lips twitching. Jack tried his
best to look wounded, but that only succeeded in making Daniel laugh.
He shook with silent mirth for several moments and finally rested
his head on Jack’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, Jack. I’d take you even
if you were uncool.”
“How very noble of you.”
“Says Mr. Can We Forget About It?”
“Yeah, that was kinda dumb.”
“You’re not gonna ever let me forget about it are you?”
“I'm gonna find notes stuck on everything now aren't I? Little Post-Its
stuck to my staff evaluations.”
“Oh yeah. It is just one among many number of things that I will
be reminding you about. Inexhaustibly. Constantly. Perpetually.”
“Perpetual mouth machine.”
“Shut up and kiss me.”
E N D
I'm a total feedback slut, so if you wanna take a minute to let me
know what you thought, it'd make my day. if not, thanks for reading
and stay tuned for next week's (or month's... or, you know, year's...)