Skirting Around
by Nel

Rating: R
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Pairing: J/D
Requested by: nostalgia_lj
Summary: "Why I have breasts?"
Author's Notes: Part of the LJ Writing Meme.

All mistakes are mine, as my beta is currently packing.

This is 500 words, exactly. Hope you enjoy, nostalgia_lj. :D

”Daniel,” Jack said as Daniel dragged him inside, "why do you have breasts?”

Daniel stopped. He eyed Jack who was drunker than Daniel had ever seen. Or, at this distance, smelled. “Why I have breasts?”

Jack nodded. Or moved his head in a fashion that might've been up and down.

Daniel sighed. “Because making bets with Teal’c before a masquerade party is asking for trouble.” He tugged down his skirt, which seemed to insist on moving upwards, still feeling quite ridiculous with so much of his (shaved) legs on (shaved, damn it. Next time he was so gonna win.) show. He suspected that all those catcalls from the marines may not have been in appreciation.

He pushed the door closed with his butt and started saying something to Jack, only to find him looking at Daniel's chest.

“Carter looks better in breasts,” he stated.

Daniel blinked. “No, really?”


Rolling his eyes, he maneuvered them into the living room, where they both crashed down as Jack seemed to think that removing his arm from around Daniel's neck seemed to be too much trouble. He tried to straighten up from his awkward position of almost sitting on Jack, but Jack's arm tightened around him.

Daniel relaxed and kicked off his shoes, groaning in pleasure. Who knew that high heels were so painful? Not the goa'uld, for sure, otherwise this wouldn't have been the first time he'd have worn them.

He felt a touch against his chest (which was quite amazing considering all the socks he’d stuffed inside his top) and looked down to see Jack’s right hand fondling him (or, his socks). “Hey, hands off!”

“Just checking the firmness.” Jack’s voice was so close Daniel could almost taste the beer on his breath.

Daniel slapped the hand away. “I should report you for sexual harassment, mister.”

“What?” His hand slid down to rest on Daniel’s stomach which was, in fact, not fake. “It’s not like I’d be doing it if they were real.”

“Of course not.” He tried to ignore the feelings Jack's hand induced. The hand that wasn’t big, warm, strong – what things he might be able to do with that hand…

Mentally shaking himself, he started removing Jack's hand from its position only to have Jack pull it away, move it to Daniel's cheek, tilt Daniel's head to the side and whoa. Kissing. Tongue. Mmm.

Jack did always get to Daniel’s eloquent side.

He absently noticed Jack removing Daniel's blond wig and thought distant thoughts about Teal’c burning in hell for that detail. Then he was laying back on the couch, Jack moving against him as Daniel did his very best to suck Jack’s tongue out of his mouth.

As Jack pulled away, their mouths separating with an obscenely wet sound, Daniel tried to catch his breath. Jack regarded him through half-lidded eyes. “You look better without the lipstick.”


After that, Jack’s appreciation was definitely vocal, but not very coherent.

Even though Daniel wasn’t wearing a skirt anymore.


ll feedback l main page l more fanfics ll