Email: nel_ani@yahoo.se Rating: PG-13 Category: Angst Pairing: Sheppard/McKay Series: Companion piece to Danvers'Atlantis Disclaimer: Not mine. Spoilers: Nope Summary: Things were made to be solved, and if they
weren’t solvable, they were boring. He's a long way from bored. Author's Notes: This is, as it says above, a companion
piece to Danvers' lovely piece of prose, Atlantis.
It's nowhere near as poetic and beautiful, but then Rodney didn't
really have Shep's special perspective.
This is all Danvers' fault. It went something like this:
D: You should write Rodney's POV in "Atlantis".
Me: No, I shouldn't.
D: Yes, you should.
Me: No I shouldn't.
D: Yes you should.
Me: Okay.
As always, so many many thanks to Suz, who fills me with happiness
and my pages with red marks.
*
Rodney has almost given up hope of finding him when
he turns left for what feels like the umpteenth time and sees the
Major leaning heavily against the wall. Any other time Rodney would
berate himself for not bringing the life sign detector to begin with,
or even for having been so surprised by John tearing the device off
his head and shoving Rodney into a wall that he hadn’t moved after
him fast enough. He’d dazedly watched the Major running out the door
before shaking off the dizziness and going after him. Not his brightest
moment, considering how he prided himself in adapting quickly to new
situations. Right now, though, he’s too freaked out by the possibilities
running though his mind at light speed, the possibilities of what
the device has done to the Major’s mind.
He clicks his headset. “Carson, we’re somewhere in the East sector,
I don’t know exactly where.”
“We see you, Rodney. Hang tight, we’re coming.”
At least he’d had enough presence of mind to call Carson right away,
even if that had been all he’d managed before starting to run. He
has no idea how the Major has managed to elude him for so long, how
he could have run so fast when now he seems to have trouble standing.
But he has and Rodney tries not to think of what consequences the
extra time without medical attention could cause.
He calms his breathing and walks slowly towards the Major, as quietly
as he can. “Major?”
There’s no reply; only John’s quiet panting can be heard.
He carefully walks around the Major until he’s facing him, steeled
for the possibility of John bolting. He isn’t sure how the hell he’s
supposed to stop the Major if he really wants to go, but he’d try.
Rodney has gotten him into this mess, he’ll get him out.
The Major’s eyes are squeezed shut, his mouth open and he seems totally
unaware of Rodney’s presence. He carefully lays a hand on the Major’s
shoulder. “Major? Major, can you hear me?”
The Major’s eyes open and Rodney almost takes a step back as he sees
that they’re completely black, not a hint of the iris. “Don’t let
me die.”
Rodney swallows. “What?”
John tilts his head, his eyes locked with Rodney’s, but somehow Rodney
gets the feeling that John is looking straight through him. It almost
looks as though he’s listening for something, and Rodney resists the
urge to look over his shoulder. He knows that they’re alone.
He should have been more cautious, should have run more tests, should
have known better than to assume that John would be able to control
everything made by the Ancients. But he’d gotten complacent. The Major
had handled everything Rodney thrown at him before so easily that
Rodney had forgotten that even though the Major seemed naturally talented
in using his gene, he wasn’t an Ancient, the technology wasn’t built
to work with his physiology.
He’d trusted Rodney to know what he was doing, trusted that he wouldn’t
be in any danger. Rodney really hadn’t thought there would be; the
device had seemed so harmless, especially compared with some other
things the Major had manipulated with ease before.
He was so fucking arrogant, why hadn’t John seen that? Why the hell
had he trusted Rodney?
“Okay, you win, very funny,” Rodney tries, wondering what the hell
is taking Carson so long.
Instead of answering him, John moans and closes his eyes, shoving
Rodney’s hands away. “So cold. Burning...” He staggers a few steps
before Rodney grips his shoulders, tighter this time.
“You’re not going anywhere, Major,” he says, trying to keep his voice
steady, but it cracks. He presses his hand against John’s chest and
feels John’s heart beating too hard, too fast.
John’s eyes snap open and he snarls at Rodney, grabbing his collar.
“Don’t! I…” he falters, his grip loosening, “I can’t…” He swallows
hard. “I can’t breathe.”
Rodney curses as John’s legs give out and he lowers them both to
the floor, less than gracefully. He clicks his earpiece in panic.
“Carson, for Gods sake, get your ass over here!”
“We’re almost there, Rodney,” Carson’s voice is breathless. “With
no transporters close by, it’s taking a while. How’s the Major?”
“Not good,” Rodney says tersely as John starts to choke.
John’s face is flushed and he tries to push away from Rodney. “Can’t…”
“John!”
“Please,” John gasps as Rodney pushes him down against the floor,
“Please.”
Rodney grips John’s hand tightly. “What? Tell me what you need. Let
me help.”
John closes his eyes.
Panic makes breathing harder, but he finally hears running footsteps
behind them. About *fucking* time.
Carson’s able hands take John’s pulse and Rodney squeezes John’s
hand.
“Alright, Major,” Carson says gently, “you’re going to be okay. Just
hang on.”
“No,” John hisses, eyes snapping open as he rips his hand away from
Rodney’s, struggling.
Immediately there are nurses there, holding his arms down, and Rodney
presses his hand to John’s chest, feeling it rising rapidly, struggling
to get air, his heart beating irregularly. “Easy, Major.” He looks
at Carson. “*Do* something.”
“I am,” Carson says tightly, pulling up John’s sleeve and pushing
the needle of the sedative into his arm.
John’s back is arching as he struggles to breathe and Rodney looks
at Carson in desperation.
Then John gulps in a deep breath and slumps to the floor, body limp.
Rodney feels like joining him, his limbs suddenly heavy in relief.
He’s okay, he’s breathing. He’s not dead. Rodney didn’t kill John.
“Let’s get him to the infirmary,” Carson says and squeezes Rodney’s
arm.
Rodney just swallows and staggers to his feet.
*
John wakes again as they’re laying him down on the bed, and this
time he doesn’t speak. He does manage to kick one of the nurses (a
male one, and not a light-weight, thank god) in the stomach as well
as sending a tray of god only knows what flying before they manage
to strap him down.
Before Carson has a chance to give him another sedative he goes limp.
Rodney has never been so afraid in his life.
*
He hasn’t spent a lot of time sitting by the Major’s bedside and
he’s already sick of it. He’s not used to not being able to solve
things. Things were made to be solved, and if they weren’t solvable,
they were boring.
He’s a long way from bored.
Ford comes to sit with him for a while, telling Rodney that Teyla
was flying back from the mainland. He talks about other things, insignificant
things, but mostly he just keeps Rodney company.
Rodney will never tell him how grateful he is for that. He does,
however, make a mental note to install a CD-player in the Lieutenant’s
room and tells himself it’s only because he’s sick of Ford’s constant
sighs about losing his rechargeable batteries on some planet.
Teyla looks ruffled when she finally arrives, but she’s calm as they
fill her in on the details. Yes, he’s stable. No, they don’t know
when (if) he’ll wake up. Yes, they’ve locked away the device, just
to be safe.
Rodney knows that Radek is picking it apart right now, trying to
figure it out. Rodney will make sure that Radek has all the notes
he needs before Rodney destroys it. He hasn’t gotten Elizabeth’s approval;
he knows her policy about destroying Ancient technology. He also knows
that Radek will claim that the device was destroyed as it overheated.
Ford leaves after about an hour, not looking pleased. Rodney realizes
that he has to go, as he probably has more things to do now that Bates
is in command. Temporarily in command, he corrects himself.
It’s all just temporary.
*
Strangely enough, Carson doesn’t chase him away. Rodney leaves of
his own accord. He grabs something to eat in the mess hall before
taking a shower and going to bed.
He lies staring at the ceiling for hours, his bed seeming too big.
He hears the words echo in his head.
don’t let me die…
*
He’s back early the morning, staring at John. He looks strange. The
stubble isn’t that uncommon (“I like it.”
“It itches.”
“I still like it.”
“I’m not growing a beard.”
“You better not.”), but it’s strange to see his hair almost covering
his eyes as it hangs down over his forehead.
As he’s studying the Major’s pale skin, John’s eyes suddenly open.
Rodney doesn’t notice getting out of the chair until he’s hovering
over John. “Oh thank god.”
John smiles a little and Rodney doesn’t care that it’s a mile away
from his normal smile, he’s ecstatic to see it. “Hi.”
His eyes, they’re their normal color again, not black. Rodney really
likes John’s eyes. “How do you feel?”
John seems to consider the question, looking Rodney over. “The way
you look, actually.”
“Okay,” Rodney nods, considers the fact that despite actually going
to bed, he didn’t actually sleep at all, “so, I should probably get
Beckett.”
John makes a face. “No, you should get me some food. I’m starving.”
Rodney stares at him. John stares back before looking down. They
both look at his restrained hands and John smirks slightly as he looks
back up at Rodney. “Kinky,” he drawls.
Rodney swallows, trying not to think of John fighting to breathe,
fighting them. "Okay. New rule. From now on, John Sheppard doesn't
get to turn anything on."
John quirks an eyebrow. "Not even you?"
“Yes, very funny.”
"Planning on keeping me in these all day?" He moves his
hands experimentally, not really trying to get loose.
Rodney makes sure they’re alone before laying his hand on top of
John’s restrained one, squeezing tightly. "I can't, not yet.
You were pretty out of it before," and damn it, he can’t even
keep his voice steady now.
John doesn’t seem to notice; he simply nods. "What happened?"
"Carson thinks your brain couldn't handle the interface.” The
guilt is like an enormous pressure inside his chest; he can feel it
every time he breathes. “I should never have asked you to..."
John interrupts him by pulling his hand away from Rodney’s now he’s
the one squeezing Rodney’s hand.
Rodney looks down at John's hand and feels like laughing hysterically.
Yes, he’s definitely the one in need of comfort; he’s the one whose
brain was fried. He looks back up at John. "You said some scary
things back there."
"Nightmare on Elm Street scary or Wraith scary?"
John mumbles.
"A bit of both," Rodney says, looking closely at John.
There’s something in his eyes. "Remember anything?"
"No," John says quietly before shutting his eyes.
Rodney doesn’t call him on his lie. He just lets John hold his hand
tightly until it goes limp and he knows that John’s asleep.